JB's Aphotic Scriptorium

So this post is just to tell you future blog posts topics I will be writing about. And the are:

Pen Names!
I have been thinking about this for a couple weeks now, and I want to briefly share my thoughts on them.

Outlining!
Basically how I outline and practical help on the subject. I have done two novels, and tried two different outlining techniques, so hopefully I can provide some insight into it.

Editing!
This can be a stress or annoying for some people, but it is necessary. Oh boy, is it necessary. I will be talking about how I do, things that have worked for me, and things that have not.

Rewriting!
And not on a small scale here. We are talking whole chapters, whole sections, and the pain-in-the-neck type of rewriting. My tips on how to go about it, why do it at all, and when it is really necessary.

Healthy Writing Tips!
Take it from someone who knows, writing healthily (how ever weird a concept since it is usually the last thing we are thinking) is important. I will elaborate more. It will be different from what you are thinking, easy, and practical, I assure you.

Organization!
How it can be your friend or enemy, and tips for dealing with both.

Formatting!
There are many different ways to do it, and I figured it was about time we got into something a tad more technical. 'Twill involve things like chapters, page spacing, and all that crazy goodness.

Inspiration!
...And the fact that you need very little if it. More on that in the post.

Prologues and Epilogues!
Both small and somewhat similar enough to include in one post. The fundamentals, why we use them, and effectiveness of them.

The Villains!
The different types, their attitudes, figuring out what personality works for you, and how to help them reach their full potential in their own respected style.

Character Bios!
I use them, and love them. I will share why I do for each, and give specific detail on what I include.

Hopefully one or more of those intrigues you! I certainly am open to suggestions too if something is burning in your mind to be answered.
Okay, keep in mind here that I will share with you my experience, and try and point you in the right direction, aka one that works for you individually. I am not going to say "This is how you do and there are no other plausible answers that will work.". Obviously that is not true. I will put out what I know, what I have experienced myself, and what you can do to help you figure out what works best for you and your writing.

Sound good?

Happy Writing,
JB

Lately my posts have been most personal updates, but I will be changing that for at least the new year, or specify it in the title (maybe labels? I will decide later).

So I am nearing the end of And I Feel the Night, which is exciting (and it helps that a final fight scene is coming too), *but* it will not be the last one in the series.

Yes! I have sequel ideas! Since I have the world established, and all the characters in the sequels introduced, they will be more like short stories (but together in one book or a few depending on the length of them). Wait, back-tracking:
The characters I have introduced are all involved in the original story, but they all have there own stories to tell (and very different stories at that). I have about...six pairs of characters (when you read it, you will know why they come in pairs, and no they are not dating/married/related or anything like that). Excluding my MC's mind you. So I certainly have enough material to go on. I will only be writing about certain parts of there life, so you will get to know and understand the characters, and get the main conflict they are going through.I hope this is making sense.

Anyways, so even though I am near the end of the first draft (*not even close to the last for this one*) of And I Feel the Night, the sequel of stories has just barely started to evolve.
I did write down some of the ideas I have for future reference during school today, so the beginning is still in the very first baby stages.

I am very glad about the fact that I will be continuing on in the same world, and giving my secondary characters the chance to be the MC's and have the attention they deserve.

They are quite happy with that.

Happy Writing!
JB

I validated my Nanowrimo story, so I now have a purple winners bar on their site. I am really looking forward to next years Nano, and maybe even possibly the 3-days novel event. If I am still crazy enough to consider it come labour day of next year.

Yesterday I updated my website with current information. Finally! It had been way too long since I had done that, and finally it is back up to snuff.

I also have some new goals too, since my wrist forced me not to do very much the past couple weeks.
I want to finish my Nano as soon as I can, but I will not be putting a deadline on it; I will not put myself in any more pain, so I will write when I am able to. I will probably start editing it in December regardless of if I am finished or not. I was debating whether I should just get through it, but things will have to change drastically in it anyways so it would be pointless for me to write it (most likely over working my wrist), then just go back and change it.

So my original plan for Untold (my other novel) when i finished the first draft was to get my editing done by the new year. That will not be happening most likely. I want to get this more or less on its way while I am in the story's mindset, and I refuse to quickly get through Untold and rush it.

Even though there are no real time limits, I feel behind. And it does not help that I have not written in a couple weeks. I tend to be in worse moods if I have not written, and it is now really getting to me. but I have tomorrow off, and I plan on writing :D.
I really am looking forward to it.

Happy Writing!
JB

My wrist, because I have severe carpal tunnel, has apparently decided that enough was enough. It worked through those 11days of Nano fairly well, then even in the couple of days following was a good sport after I did not give it a break, but now, it appears that it is the end of the line.

The pain and the random numbness is so awfully bad. It is so freaking painful!!

Okay, pain is not exactly something novel to me- the amount shocks most people who have the time to actually listen to the list I have going on- so it is not like I complain very much (only here, and an occasionally WD post). I never do outloud, which is a big problem because I never get things checked out and wait too long so things get worse. A admitting I am in crippling pain means that I have to share feelings...my feelings...with people...Umm, not happening unless it is so bad I can not function and literally need someone to help, because I can not help myself.

And because I really am as self destructive as I said before, I now can not type with my right hand because I have been ignoring the pain for too long! That means I have to put my story on hold for a few days (preferably I would not use it at all for a few weeks, but ya right. A few days is bad enough)! UGH. It is so frustrating though. I want to write, I want to get this done, I want to finish and reach the goals I have set for this! But nooo!

It really is my own fault here- of course it is. I really do not want to have to go the surgery route either, but at this rate, well it is not that far off.

So what does this mean for me writing in the future long term? I really do not know. I will have to perfect my one-handed typing techniques (by the way, it is really annoying to type with only one hand). I was thinking about something like a tape recorder, but I am not sure if I would be able to be as comfortable with that- I like seeing the words right away (well, I would be able to see them after they uploaded to the computer, but still, it is not the same).

So if I may offer some advice for the writers out there with out carpal tunnel- Pace yourself. Do not over use your hand(s). Take breaks. Exercise your wrists properly. Go see your doctor at the first signs of trouble.

*sigh*. Well, at least I have the 50k done though.

Happy Writing! (write an extra amount for me!)

JB *is in so much freaking pain*

Getting right to the point here (to tired for anything but that), I have yet to read my Nano story. Seriously though. I have about 90 pages of words I have written and strung together, but have yet to actually read them all.

Most of the time when I had time to write or even look at my story, I would be writing it, not reading it. Eventually I realized that, but I was too far in to take that much time and read it. Now I am done the 50k and have some time to read it, I am *dying* to!

Yet, I refuse to do so until I finish. I have reasons though- I am not doing it to punish myself in a weird way (*makes mental note* "Good way to torture writers- force them to write stories, but not read them! Baha!").

I know that I will edit. And believe me, once I start, I will not be able to stop and there is a heck of a lot of things to edit. I suspect several story aspects will have to change, which means that outcomes and subplots and then everything will change...I would be locked in my room for days editing if I started.

I want to read it so badly too. *darn inner editor!*

Happy Writing!

JB

Yesterday I started to post, but it was late and subsequently I was very tired, so here are the thoughts I can remember from my yesterday musings.

I was thinking about Nano and also my story and can up with some randomness to post.

The first being that, even though I am not done my novel yet, I have reached the 50k. The challenge has been complete, and I will have to wait for another year before I can officially do it again.

It is kind of sad.

I will not be able to officially do this again for another year. I expect my Nano novel to take about 10 times that amount of time before it is actually readable, so I will be busy (and I do have another novel to edit too, so I will be very busy), but I wish that it would not take 342 days until Nano '09.

Skipping over that because I could ramble on for pages basically saying the same thing, my story will definitely be about another 10k as far as I can tell from where I can metaphorically see now. Which I plan on getting done before Nano is done (this is official now- I will get it done before the end of Nano.). I plan on taking it a little more slowly now (only a little though), but that just means I will be spending more time doing the things I should be (like passing classes, eating, sleeping- all the things I have neglected to do recently). Maybe 1 or 2k a day- something like that.

I have yet to read over anything I have written! How strange is that! Believe me, if I start reading it, I will edit it like *crazy* and no one will see me for days because I will be on the computer, killing myself over editing it.

Oh! Speaking along those lines, two people asked me to read my story today, and the strange thing is, they brought it up. Like, one of them knew I was doing it; he was thinking about doing it himself for a little bit and knew I was really excited for it. The other must have been talking to a friend of mine or something....I really do not know how he found out exactly but with only 150 people in my school, things get around. Well, he wants to read it too. I proceeded to tell them both that it was crap. Now, like I said, I have not read it yet, but I can still guarantee that it is crap. But they both knew that it was about the word count first, and I would edit it later. I am not sure when I will give it to them, but I do plan on sending it them- something for us to laugh over pretty much.

As my other novel, a couple people have wanted to read that too. One guy I am friends with heard me briefly mentioning it in our Writer's Craft class and wanted to read it when I was done. It was like six months later and he asked me again, and wondered about how I was doing. I was honestly a little surprised that he asked me again (I forgot he wanted to read it actually), and I told him he could. I would also very much like a male's perspective on it too, so I am glad he is so intrigued.

I would love to share my Nano story to with people, and have them read it, mainly because it is really bad, and I know it. So if they said it was bad and told me things to fix, I would be all for it because I know it is awful and needs a lot of work. My other novel I just am very territorial over right now for various reasons that I am sure you can come up with on your own :).

Happy Writing!

JB

At 9:14pm on November 11th, guess what I finished.

A FIFTY THOUSAND WORD NOVEL.

YES that is right! I finished Nanowrimo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*dances* *noise making* *celebrates* *throws confetti*!!!!!!!!!

Okay, recap of this post so far:

I WROTE 50K OR FIFTY THOUSAND WORDS IN ELEVEN DAYS.

HECK FREAKING YA.

Wow am i excited, and yes I will have an even worse headache in a few minutes, but HECK YES I FINISHED!
Wow this is great. I really did doubt my ability to get even 20k in 30 days, but I am 11 days in and I have more than 50k!!
My story is yet to be done, although I could end it where I have stopped, but it would be an incomplete ending. I plan on getting it all done, whether it takes another 30k or more, in before November is done so I can start editing right from the get go of December.

HECK.
YA.

*is so excited*

Thank to everyone for the support! Really, I probably woUld have given up. My characters thank you too ;)! Oh I love the story, I love the characters, I love writing! And I love Nanowrimo!
*hugs go to all*

Happy Writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JB

So last night, writing amazing. As in it was the best writing experience I have ever had. Maybe I have not written much compared to others, but I have written enough, and this was the first I ever felt so...into my writing.

When I was writing a couple scene, they were so intense and I got so into them; it was amazing. They might not be that intense to read, but I was definitely with my characters right in the middle of the story going through it with them. It did not feel like I was writing it, but that I was actually *there*. It was crazy awesome (emphasis on the 'crazy' and 'awesome' part). I am so in love with that part, and even more in love with writing and this story, which I was hard pressed to believe I could love it anymore. It was a phenomenal experience, and I hope it happens again! Boy has Nanowrimo been good to me so far .

And let me be clear here; I am in no way saying that my writing technique or the words I chose of the very writing itself was amazing. It is somewhere in between 'meh' and 'holy cow this is freaking awful!' on the writing scale, but as I said before, December is when I will get it neat and polished.

Also, at the end of writing yesterday, I realized that I had written about 6k in total that day, which I thought was great. Sure, I wrote twice as much the first day, but still; I was writing on and off from about 2pm and I did not think that it was that much writing. Normally I check a couple times an hour of my word count, but I was so into it I wrote about 2k without even realizing it, and I was shocked when I looked at my word count.

I swear I have used the words shocked and comfort (or some variant of it) at least a hundred times each, and my characters have nodded their heads so much I am surprised their brains have not been rattle into mush. Honestly.
But whatever- I will edit it later with a thesaurus on hand .

Side Note:
I changed my blog theme! Horoscope signs aside (although they are growing on me even though they do not exactly fit in with the theme), I *love* it. The whole header picture with the night sky and the trees and such fit in well with the 'aphotic' part in a kind of irony that I enjoy, partly because I love what the picture shows, but then again what 'aphotic' means. Perfect for me. Although again, minus the horoscope symbols.

Happy Writing!

JB

So with my first draft aside for the moment (editing has been slow, but almost coming...), I have taken up the lovely people that created NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) up on their challenge. A 50k word novel in 30 days.

I thought it would be awfully hard and I would only get to 20k at best.

Well as it stands right now, I am at 40k and it is only day nine. Also, the past 3 days I have been mind bogglingly (....I wonder if that is a word.....) sick, and had a friends wedding to help out in (while I was sick too mind you). I did maybe 1k or 2k when I was sick, so basically I have shocking myself at the amount of words that are coming out who knows where.

I also thought going into this that I would end up not liking my story or not being very happy with it because I would not have time to really work through it because of the deadline, but I was wrong there too.

I LOVE it! I love this story.

Now, I know. The other novel I have written (and you have no idea the pleasure of my saying that) is so important to me. That novel has been years in the making already, and is basically at the root of my writing love. But with that said, I can not just write it, and then let it go. I really need to make the novel the best and most flawless work I can because I see it as my baby really. My other unfinished works (like my NaNo story) I will see through and of course make them as flawless as possible, but the novel I have done is like 'the ultimate' in my mind right now. A dream reached. Yes, even unpublished, it still is a dream reached for me.

I have a feeling that I will not be trying to get it done and sent out to be published right away. I want to have time to work through it, and work on my other piece(s) because right now, it is still in that 'mine' process. It is my baby here. Give me some time to love it before I send it off to be rejected in college.
No wait, I really did not mean...okay, awful analogy. But I hope you get it. I want to enjoy working with it on my own time and really giving it the time it deserves instead of rushing through it just so I can send it off.

Wow, I should have just said that. But writers digress of course (and give the occasional awful analogy. Seriously- very sorry for that).

So back to the focus of NaNo. This is the story I see myself working through and getting done and sending off. Not that i think it deserves less time or needs to be edited less (by the way, it is awfully written right now, and for good reason; I have gotten more then half way through it in only 7 days!). It is because I am so enthusiastic about it, and really want others to read it and enjoy.

Perhaps to non writers, writing one book and writing another would be believed to have the same feelings. But that is definitely not so. The feelings I have for both books are impossibly different, yet impossibly the same.

NaNo is amazing for the record. I absolutely love it. The process is so different then what I have done before. It took me six months to write 50k, and I have done all but 10k in nine days. It really has not sunk it yet because it is so shocking to me. I have put in the hours, typed the words out myself, have the almost 70 solid pages of writing in front of me, but it still is surprising every time I think about it.

I am going to enjoy it while it lasts, because I have a feeling the editing that will come in December will not be as fun. Not *nearly* as fun.

Speaking of, I figured out the hours that it takes me to edit one chapter for the finished novel. I think it was ten. Hours I mean. And really NO ONE has the amount of time lying around. NO ONE. Least of all me at the moment. Like sure, I am probably doing not a half bad job editing in those ten hours, but I have TWENTY chapters! That is part of the reason I have not edited that much, and the fact that I have not updated that much (since there was nothing to update on).

Now, about blogging and updating:
I make no real promises to update, because I have no idea when things will happen to me/writing that will be worth updating you on. Now, with NaNoWriMo, I have a feeling that I will be updating when I get to the 50k and when I am editing and all the jazz that comes after. Who knows though.

Either way, Happy Writing!

JB

As is my tendency, I write first for my novel, then for my writing journal, then for my online writing community, and if my carpel tunnel is not acting up (unlikely), then I update my website, and then I post here. If I have something worth saying...which is becoming more and more a rarity these days.

Besides my blog, I have my other two, more prominent online havens:

Writer's Draft
This is a forum for aspiring writers, having been created and run by myself.

JB Website
This is my website, which has information about me as an author, my current work, and future work.

On Writing: Aspiring Writers
My first post (and, yes I am well aware that is a little bit odd to link your blog in a blog post of said blog when you don't have many blog posts to begin with. Regardless, there it stands).

Secondly, editing is going well. I have finally overcome some crippling feelings, and have moved past them. Of course I expect them to catch up sometime, but for now I am in the clear.
I have chapters one and two to edit/revise, then I have to transfer the revisions.
Honestly, it is in times of disaster and editing when I really appreciate my need to organize.

Okay, really I am in the middle of an insomnia attack here- it is 7:50am and I have yet to get some sleep. Don't think that I haven't gone to bed yet, because indeed I have. I was there for hours. Hours.

So I will leave before I type something embarrassing (lucky for you!).

Happy Writing,

JB

Hello!
It has been ages since I posted last. Ages and ages. I have several posts half done, but I wanted to say something important :)

So, I am done my first draft!!

Certainly a cause for celebration, but also serious contemplation.
Okay, I have gotten this far right? Isn't everything supposed to be easy now?? I have the thing down, shouldn't all the editing and revising just come???
Sadly, no this is not the case. I really really wish I could say something more encouraging, but unfortunately I can't. It is reality I deal out here.
I really did think that once I reached this that it would be clearer sailing, which was the first problem.
I focused everything on reaching the point of being done my first draft, that when it came and I didn't feel the relief I thought I would, I was so disappointed.
I have so much work to do now! Real work! My first draft was to get things down, not make a literary piece worthy of an audience.
NOW I have to do that, and that my friends, is hard. I need to make this agent worthy, publisher worthy, and reader worthy.
Before it was purely for me and I had only me in mind (which was not a bad thing). Now I have to make this ready for someone else, and the standards are higher. Much higher.

With all that in mind, I have forged ahead and am half way done my first round of revising. The past two weeks I haven't been doing that much (which was not my fault exactly, but still), so this week I will continue on and get more done.
Sometimes it is hard though. I think my work is crap some days, then great others. I am finding a hard time striking a balance there, but I know now that things won't be perfect.
Yet.
I am getting there though.

Happy Writing,

JB

I have finished the last part of my novel. I'm not done by any means- I still have to write the beginning- but I have written the middle and now the ending of my novel.

Such a hard ordeal. Really.

To be honest, I don't want it to end. Now I know I still have to write a third of the book still, add in new chapters, revise the heck out of everything I've done, edit like mad, polish it, possibly make another draft (first is to get things down, second is for revision and editing, third is for polishing), and then start the gruelling process of finding an agent.

By no means am I close to being done.

Yet I found it so hard to let go and make the ending work like I know I can. I didn't realize just how much this novel is apart of me until I 'became close' to seeing it end.

So, maybe you are not even close to finishing, or maybe that part is just around the bend, but I do have some advice that might be a repeat of what I've said before; be careful with your work.

Whether you think so or not, the more you work on what you are writing, the more it becomes you own and apart of you, and the harder it is to let that slip away. If you, in any way, have decided to let that piece of yourself go and show it to public (whether that be one person or several), take care of who you show it to. Personally, I would think of it as trusting someone with your life in the literal sense. If you can't trust them with your most valuable possession (you life a.k.a. your writing), just don't do it.

On a different note, I'm done the ending! That means I am two thirds done! No matter how heartbreaking it is to see my characters story's come to a close, it means that I am that much closer to seeing them reach their full potential.

*sniff* They grow up so fast *sniff*

Happy Writing,

JB

We all make choice for day to day; what will we wear, where we will go, how we will act, and the list can go on for many pages. This is true for our characters as well.

I could tell you that when I write, I tell the reader every single thing they decide on, but that would be a large waste of time; as most as big a waste as spending time reading about it. But you know that, right? For this post, I am going to assume that you do and that you do not do it in your own writing (partly because this is my blog, and I can).

Your characters need to make choices. But more importantly, they need to make choices that suit them. If you want your character to eat a jelly doing the slips, then go ahead. But what if they are a vegetarian and think that the slips are a way for the evil temptress from the Chasm of Doom to escape when you breathe out causing the Earth to spin out of control because she control the Earth's rotation???

Okay, abstract example, but do you see what I mean? Sometimes it helps to have those way out there examples.

When I write, I have a clear idea of what I want to happen in each chapter of my story. But things can go wrong when I choose to make things go a certain way because that is not always how the story will work. I might have my story thought out from start to finish, but what happens when a character suddenly chooses a different path then the one that was set out for them?

Now, I, in the past, made a few little mistakes with this. I wanted a character to do one thing, but they weren't too keen on going in that direction. So what happened was a sloppy, totally out of character scene that was just too poorly done. Instead of letting them make the choices that suited them, I made them. It's like going to a restaurant and wanting a salad, but the person at the next table orders a steak for you. Things just don't work out that way.

I'm not saying give in to every little thing your characters want, I'm saying that you have to be opened to your creations making there own way and deviating from the path a little. Don't make poor decision for them; they'll do it themselves.

I hope that made sense. This is one of those things that you think about, but make better sense in your head. Basically, don't force your story and make sure you stay within the confines of what works within your characters.

Perhaps I should have just said that. Meh.

Happy Writing,

JB

Hey everyone, I know I haven't been keeping my blog up to date, but I have a lot of things currently going on, so expect updates, but don't expect too many too soon (sorry about that). This one is short, but important.

So the topic for today; your opinion. It's a valuable thing really, and when combined with writing, it can be wonderfully accurate. Or completely, absolutely, totally, dead wrong.
I was catching up on a backlog of editing recently on a chapter that I thought was really terrible. When I wrote it I was very dissappointed with it, and thought that it was best just to get through it, and redo it later. So begrudgingly I finished it, and put it deep in the confines of my filing system where it would never see the light of day.
Things left unfinished tend to bug me, and I knew that it was time to edit the thres chapters I had neglected to edit straight away. So up from the depths that cursed chapter surfaced, and I started editing it. After the first few pages I stopped and reread it agian.
It was good.
And I actually liked it.
You see, I am my own worst critique, as most writer's are. I thought that what I had written was horrible right after I had finished it, but later I found that it worked really well and wasn't bad at all.

You might think what you are doing is wrong and horrible and aweful when you are writing it. Maybe you are right, maybe you are wrong though. It is your opinion.
But can I advise something? Give what you do a fair shot. It isn't fair to you, your characters, or your future readers to miss a potentially wonderful part in your writing just because you had a bad day, or your opinion is wrong. your opinion is not the 'be all, end all' so give yourself time, forget about it, go back to it, and then make up your mind. Perhaps you will find that it is actually really good.

Happy Writing,

JB

Okay, I will be getting back to my literary musings shortly. If this is your first time reading this, skip to my second post, then go from there; everything will make more sense. Well, if I was to be philosophical about that statement, it would be infallible to say that least, but I hope you are eximious in your reading to be able to figure that out.

I have a website; Jazzelle Braewyn Zariel

Second topic to discuss; I have another website, but that is for me alone. I fill it with all the philosophical musings I can think of, which is by no means small, and discuss in writing what I can't express out loud.

Why the second one? Well, I have taken on some interesting and thought provoking reading lately, which brings up many intriguing thoughts. Things like duality, transformation (a synonym for those being the Tempest by Shakespeare), pre-destination, and the list goes on. I've had it up for a while yet, but I plan on keeping it to myself unless there is a great interest in it (which translates to you will probably never see it). Most of it is on the computer in draft form, so even if you are canny enough to figure out what it is called, you wouldn't see much.

Anyways. Happy Writing all,

JB

Ugh, I am cringing where I sit right now.

Okay, I write these blog posts very quickly because generally I like to spend the time I spend writing, actually writing my story.

Now, you may not know, but I am very OSD about spelling and grammer, and am throughly disgusted my myself right now. I also edit to no end, and I can barely stand this.

My posts are so atrocious when it comes to all three, and for that, I apologize profusely. I am sure that some of you were sitting at your computers completely confused when I misspelled words, or made up my own for goodness sake!

Ugh, one horrible example: I wrote 'pasted' instead of 'passed'. How abominable.

I really do not have time to go and edit all of the posts I have done. I have enough to do with writing my novel, school, and life, so it's just not going to happen until March Break or the summer (I know I know, it should be done sonner, but it's just not possible).

Just to reinterate; I do not spend a lot of time typing my posts. I do spend a great deal of time when I can thinking of what I am going to write, so I can try and help those of you that read this. I really want to help those of you who are going through some of the things I have and offer practical advice. This means that there will be a lot of spelling, and grammatical mistakes in my posts.

Again, so sorry.

Happy Writing,
JB

Bit of a milestone to talk about today.

Now, if I was going in chronological order, I would have put this before my last post... but I'm not. I also wanted to put the more unfortunate news first, then the good stuff.

Well, on the 31st of December 2007, I, JB, finished HALF of my book!!

Hey everyone,
Today this is more of a personal blog to begin with (I do have a point at the end, I promise), but I wanted a place to write down all of the possibly stupid things I have done over the break (and it's probably not what you are thinking), and share a little bit of my experiences. Hopefully they can relate to you, and I hope even more that you don't make the same mistakes!

So, I made a writing forum called Writer's Draft. Personally, I think it's pretty nice, and put a lot of work into making it. In a nutshell; it a place for aspiring writer's to come and talk about everything about writing (wow that was quick).
Now, I was checking up on it when I was at my cousin's house over the holidays (we slept over and I had only opened it up the day before). I was checking it, and lo! and behold a member of my family asks me about it. Well, I tell them the nutshell explanation of it, and eventually I told them that I was writing a book. I didn't want to, but it was one of situations that I knew I wasn't going to get out of unless I just got it over with and told them. Naturally there were a few others in the room (all adults, although no parents, grandparents, aunts, or uncle so thank goodness), and I'm fairly sure they think little of it. What stock can they put in someone my age who probably;y knows so little about anything, much less the world of writing?
Well, I intend to prove them wrong naturally.
So that pasted with only the slightest amount of conversation, which I found both disappointing, and relieving. I wanted them to be interested; they are my family and main source for support, so if I can't get encouragement from them, I know I'll be hard-pressed to find it elsewhere! Only one comment (well argument would be a better description actually) was when an immediate member of my fairly said that they would go on my computer, and read what I have.
This shows the ignorance and ineptitude of my family no doubt. I'm sure many of you are feeling the horror of just the though of it; having someone go on your personal computer, and read you work. Work that you have poured you heart, energy, time and effort into creating, and just letting some person that has no idea what good literature entails, read it and make a mockery of all you have done.
I was hurt, shocked, and so very nervous.
I avoided much of the persistence of this individual, and told them I had written it by hand, and didn't keep it in the house. They said that they didn't believe it, but I repeated it, and the subject dropped (for the record I have a hard copy and soft copy and they are both in the house).

Now, last night I was up very early (five in the morning) talking to friends of mine, and I brought up the topic of dream jobs. Eventually we veered from that, but one of my friends ask another friend if she had ever thought of writing a book. I sat there and debated for a while before deciding that it would be alright to tell them. I wouldn't let them see it, but I could simply tell them about it.
So I did. Apparently they had tried writing a book (although neither getting past the first page), and I told them that I was currently writing one. They asked how long it was, and I had the privilege to tell them the length (which I am so very proud of, but more on this later). They seemed vaguely impressed, but we moved on to other things.

I am not going to lie and say that I was expecting both parties to react in that fashion. I was expecting genuine intrigue and long conversations on my works and choruses of support and well-wishing.
Alas, that was not so.
I didn't right out think I wanted these, but it was more subconsciously wanted. I wanted approval and enquires (which I would deny of course) so I could feel like what I was doing could be important to other people besides myself. I was basing every future reader on their reactions, and I know now that that wasn't fair. The people that tend to value reading, writing and authors either weren't in the room, or would be too quite or reserved to say anything (mind you, I could be mistaken). Sure I could have planned telling people about it better, but it's not exactly the thing you plan for, and regardless, the disappointment would still be there.

I really do implore you; don't let people make you, or what you are doing, feel insignificant. People are going to be unimpressed, jealous, uninterested, or not take you seriously. Trust me, I didn't think it would happen to me, but it did. I really wish it could have turned out differently, but this way you can learn something from me. Perhaps if I had the hard copy with me I could have showed them and threw it in their faces and told them that I was really doing this and I am proud of it, but really, what would that have done? I can't change how they feel about it now, but hopefully once they see the final copy (which will get done) they perhaps appreciate my work and me a little more.

So, I march on this under-appreciated path in hopes that my journey will lead me somewhere where I can be amongst people that care enough about my work to take it seriously. For now though, I am stuck here, surrounded by uncaring people.
DO NOT get stuck! Sure, you can tell people about it, but don't have high (or even mediumly placed) expectations because you do not want to be let down like I was.

I hope that in this new year you reach your writing goals, and never give up on them.

Happy Writing, and a Happy New Year,

JB