JB's Aphotic Scriptorium

Okay, I will be getting back to my literary musings shortly. If this is your first time reading this, skip to my second post, then go from there; everything will make more sense. Well, if I was to be philosophical about that statement, it would be infallible to say that least, but I hope you are eximious in your reading to be able to figure that out.

I have a website; Jazzelle Braewyn Zariel

Second topic to discuss; I have another website, but that is for me alone. I fill it with all the philosophical musings I can think of, which is by no means small, and discuss in writing what I can't express out loud.

Why the second one? Well, I have taken on some interesting and thought provoking reading lately, which brings up many intriguing thoughts. Things like duality, transformation (a synonym for those being the Tempest by Shakespeare), pre-destination, and the list goes on. I've had it up for a while yet, but I plan on keeping it to myself unless there is a great interest in it (which translates to you will probably never see it). Most of it is on the computer in draft form, so even if you are canny enough to figure out what it is called, you wouldn't see much.

Anyways. Happy Writing all,

JB

Ugh, I am cringing where I sit right now.

Okay, I write these blog posts very quickly because generally I like to spend the time I spend writing, actually writing my story.

Now, you may not know, but I am very OSD about spelling and grammer, and am throughly disgusted my myself right now. I also edit to no end, and I can barely stand this.

My posts are so atrocious when it comes to all three, and for that, I apologize profusely. I am sure that some of you were sitting at your computers completely confused when I misspelled words, or made up my own for goodness sake!

Ugh, one horrible example: I wrote 'pasted' instead of 'passed'. How abominable.

I really do not have time to go and edit all of the posts I have done. I have enough to do with writing my novel, school, and life, so it's just not going to happen until March Break or the summer (I know I know, it should be done sonner, but it's just not possible).

Just to reinterate; I do not spend a lot of time typing my posts. I do spend a great deal of time when I can thinking of what I am going to write, so I can try and help those of you that read this. I really want to help those of you who are going through some of the things I have and offer practical advice. This means that there will be a lot of spelling, and grammatical mistakes in my posts.

Again, so sorry.

Happy Writing,
JB

Bit of a milestone to talk about today.

Now, if I was going in chronological order, I would have put this before my last post... but I'm not. I also wanted to put the more unfortunate news first, then the good stuff.

Well, on the 31st of December 2007, I, JB, finished HALF of my book!!

Hey everyone,
Today this is more of a personal blog to begin with (I do have a point at the end, I promise), but I wanted a place to write down all of the possibly stupid things I have done over the break (and it's probably not what you are thinking), and share a little bit of my experiences. Hopefully they can relate to you, and I hope even more that you don't make the same mistakes!

So, I made a writing forum called Writer's Draft. Personally, I think it's pretty nice, and put a lot of work into making it. In a nutshell; it a place for aspiring writer's to come and talk about everything about writing (wow that was quick).
Now, I was checking up on it when I was at my cousin's house over the holidays (we slept over and I had only opened it up the day before). I was checking it, and lo! and behold a member of my family asks me about it. Well, I tell them the nutshell explanation of it, and eventually I told them that I was writing a book. I didn't want to, but it was one of situations that I knew I wasn't going to get out of unless I just got it over with and told them. Naturally there were a few others in the room (all adults, although no parents, grandparents, aunts, or uncle so thank goodness), and I'm fairly sure they think little of it. What stock can they put in someone my age who probably;y knows so little about anything, much less the world of writing?
Well, I intend to prove them wrong naturally.
So that pasted with only the slightest amount of conversation, which I found both disappointing, and relieving. I wanted them to be interested; they are my family and main source for support, so if I can't get encouragement from them, I know I'll be hard-pressed to find it elsewhere! Only one comment (well argument would be a better description actually) was when an immediate member of my fairly said that they would go on my computer, and read what I have.
This shows the ignorance and ineptitude of my family no doubt. I'm sure many of you are feeling the horror of just the though of it; having someone go on your personal computer, and read you work. Work that you have poured you heart, energy, time and effort into creating, and just letting some person that has no idea what good literature entails, read it and make a mockery of all you have done.
I was hurt, shocked, and so very nervous.
I avoided much of the persistence of this individual, and told them I had written it by hand, and didn't keep it in the house. They said that they didn't believe it, but I repeated it, and the subject dropped (for the record I have a hard copy and soft copy and they are both in the house).

Now, last night I was up very early (five in the morning) talking to friends of mine, and I brought up the topic of dream jobs. Eventually we veered from that, but one of my friends ask another friend if she had ever thought of writing a book. I sat there and debated for a while before deciding that it would be alright to tell them. I wouldn't let them see it, but I could simply tell them about it.
So I did. Apparently they had tried writing a book (although neither getting past the first page), and I told them that I was currently writing one. They asked how long it was, and I had the privilege to tell them the length (which I am so very proud of, but more on this later). They seemed vaguely impressed, but we moved on to other things.

I am not going to lie and say that I was expecting both parties to react in that fashion. I was expecting genuine intrigue and long conversations on my works and choruses of support and well-wishing.
Alas, that was not so.
I didn't right out think I wanted these, but it was more subconsciously wanted. I wanted approval and enquires (which I would deny of course) so I could feel like what I was doing could be important to other people besides myself. I was basing every future reader on their reactions, and I know now that that wasn't fair. The people that tend to value reading, writing and authors either weren't in the room, or would be too quite or reserved to say anything (mind you, I could be mistaken). Sure I could have planned telling people about it better, but it's not exactly the thing you plan for, and regardless, the disappointment would still be there.

I really do implore you; don't let people make you, or what you are doing, feel insignificant. People are going to be unimpressed, jealous, uninterested, or not take you seriously. Trust me, I didn't think it would happen to me, but it did. I really wish it could have turned out differently, but this way you can learn something from me. Perhaps if I had the hard copy with me I could have showed them and threw it in their faces and told them that I was really doing this and I am proud of it, but really, what would that have done? I can't change how they feel about it now, but hopefully once they see the final copy (which will get done) they perhaps appreciate my work and me a little more.

So, I march on this under-appreciated path in hopes that my journey will lead me somewhere where I can be amongst people that care enough about my work to take it seriously. For now though, I am stuck here, surrounded by uncaring people.
DO NOT get stuck! Sure, you can tell people about it, but don't have high (or even mediumly placed) expectations because you do not want to be let down like I was.

I hope that in this new year you reach your writing goals, and never give up on them.

Happy Writing, and a Happy New Year,

JB

So, your sitting there, in front of your computer, looking blankly at the screen. You're mind forms the word you've dreaded since your story first started taking form. Your palms start to sweat, your pulse rises; ringing in your ears, and the palpable feeling of panic starts to build in the room.
Writer's Block.
It's definition: a usually temporary condition in which a writer finds it impossible to proceed with writing a novel, play, or other work.
And lets be realistic and add to it that we all go through it. Every writer has had it; every writer will.
Perhaps you are sitting there, reading this, in the middle of it. Well good. What I've got to say should, with any luck, steer you in the proper direction.

So as is seemingly the tradition, I'm going to open up with stuff about what I've gone through and done to get out of it.
So you all know that I had the idea for the book I'm doing now for years. And you also should remember that it took me a long time to get going on it, and finally start writing. (and if you didn't remember I just said it so you're good). One would think that that would lead us to the present day of me writing away, but no. Now, what I didn't tell you (because I was waiting for this topic), was the time in between those two points. And it was rough. Really really rough.
So I started at what I believe to be a November, but I can't exactly recall. So I started writing some things down: character bios, family trees, summaries of plot, sub-plots et cetera, but with quite a lot of self doubt and nervousness. Those feelings were well founded because I had never done anything even close to writing a novel.
So, you'd expect me to go full-speed ahead, right? Well, not exactly.
For maybe three months or so I would write here and there; nothing really solid, and never for too long.
Then I hit the biggest Writer's Block in my history.
It lasted for more then nine (yes, count them; nine) months, and almost reached the tenth month mark. From January to August I wrote not a word for my story; nothing.
Perhaps you're asking"Well why didn't you? What was the reason?", but change the question around a little and ask yourself "Why have I stopped? What is the real problem?".
Okay let's do some self-searching. Look at the list below, and analyze each one to see if could/is a factor in your Writer's Block. I'm going to be specific, but if you need to (and I encourage you) change it around as you see fit.
1) task seemed to big so you gave up (whether you realized this consciously or unconsciously)
2) felt like idea has been done before, so no point was seen
3) no ideas came to mind/every idea tried just didn't fit
4) tired of writing

Now I will attempt to take on these problems and finally win the battle over the dreaded Writer's Block!
1) Okay, let's not beat around the bush here: writing a novel is a big task. A very big one. Naturally this reality is going to catch up with you so time or another, but remember that an impossible task and a big task are two completely different things. So what if it's a challenge? That's part of the experience, and you'll be all the better for it if you embrace the troubles that come along with writing than giving up on it altogether. Why? Because if you give up, your story will never be written. You will never get that euphoric feeling of elation when you finally finish your final draft. Above all, you need to try, and follow through with it and not be paralyzed in the fear of what's ahead of you.
2) News Flash; everything has been done. Name any book and I can promise you that the topic has been broached before. Perhaps it has been done in a slightly different way, but all in all there are no new topics to do. Don't let that make you feel down though; on the contrary, you should feel a sense of freedom now. Now you don't need to worry and compare you writings to other stories that hold similar ideas/topics/themes. But DO NOT steal the exact same ideas/character et cetera from someone else's work. I'm not going to write about a girl named Alison that falls down a hole into another world and chases a black rabbit that is obsessed with time, and then call it my own idea. Do you see the difference then me writing about a boy named Adam falling into a well that is a portal to another dimension where time runs backwards? Finding another world and the theme of time and dreams have been done, but remember to make the story your own, not just copy someone else's.
3) I put these two together because they encompass the same basic idea; things just aren't working out. To be honest, it happens. Sometime characters or plots throw you a curve ball and you've just got to take it as they come. My advice on what to do next: go read a book, watch a movie, talk to people, watch television; anything to that could spark your interests. I know, the advice is simple and nothing innovative, but sometimes you need someone else to tell you (which is where I come in). Often you will be focusing too hard on our story and what you want to happen, that you won't see all of the other wonderfully creative ideas around you. So take some time away, and put it out of your mind. Give your mind some time to build up those creative juices again.
4) I like this one. Why? Because the answer is the easiest. STOP.
Yes, that's what I said: STOP.
You've hit the point where you just don't want to do it anymore because you don't like it. Why though? You've most likely over-written yourself. I need a break from writing sometimes because it can help me to refocus and let you find that passion again. Getting tired is a way of showing you need to rest and take a break, so follow that instinct, and leave for a while. Remember though, that's only half of it, coming back and starting to write again is the other part to it, so don't forget.

Conclusion: Writer's Block is beatable. It's takes some patience, yes, but eventually you will get through it (and chances are it won't take you almost ten months, so find some comfort in that!)

Happy Writing
JB

Support.
I said before in my "On Writing: Aspiring Writers..." post that I would come back to this, and today's the day.
So I have no personal support in writing whatsoever. No one knows that I'm writing a book, or everything that goes along with it: writing forums, searching the Internet for articles and good web pages, buying many reference books, keeping a "Writing Journal", and my general involvement in the world of writing.
I'm not going to lie; it was not easy.
I felt like on my own, I couldn't achieve anything, and certainly not something of this magnitude. At first, the reason why I didn't tell anyone because I knew they would tell me that I flat-out couldn't do it. Call it the rebel in me, but I decided that I would prove them wrong and try my hand at it.
That stage in my writing wore off pretty quickly, and soon I had bigger worries then people telling me I couldn't do it. I was afraid that if I told them, they would question me as to why I was doing it, and judge me about it. Things like:
-Why are you doing your story on that?
-You should do it this way.
-It doesn't make sense. Do it like this.
-No offense, that is a really stupid idea.
And I think you get it.
I had (and still do have) a very clear idea of where my story is going (just call me "uber organized"), and I was petrified that people were going to change my story.
And I don't mean sneak on to my computer at night and write it themselves, I mean pressuring me into changing it.
Let's face it, I have never done this before, and I want to know that I'm doing a good job and doing it right. If someone came in and said one of the comments I listed above, it would eat away at me until I changed it to exactly what they wanted. Which is exactly what I don't want.
The story I'm writing is for me, and only me. Yes, the dream is to get it published, but right now, I have an audience of one, and that one is the only person that counts. I don't want to change my story into something I don't like, and didn't originally want.
So it was just another reason to keep it to myself.
Then I got to the point where I thought "Okay, you've gotten really far, and your story is looking fairly good, so tell just one person. This way you can get another opinion than your own. Maybe your story will turn out better with some criticism, and you can get someone to edit after you have edited.".
Fairly good argument, really.
If you haven't already guessed, I am territorial about my book to an extreme. So I needed to find someone that I wouldn't have a panic attack even thinking about giving them my book.
At first I thought of my family. That way I didn't have to email my story, which basically would be putting it online (*shudders*), and they could just read it off of the computer. Those were the pros. But it didn't make sense for a couple reason to have them read it. One was because my family is not big on reading. Yes, they do read occasionally, things like magazines, or work related things, but not novels. Also, they weren't my target audience, and are not interested in the genre I'm working in. It didn't make sense because there opinion wasn't one that really counted.
So family was out. What about friends? I had one friend in mind specifically, so I went the hypothetical route, and thought of what would happen if I did give her my book to read/critique/edit. Well, first I had would have to get it to her. Email was out, because I refuse to put my work over the Internet and have who-knows-what happen to it. So that left giving her my printed versions (After I finish a chapter I computer edit, than print it out and edit/leave comments for further revision). What if she lost it? And someone found it? What if?
What if, What if, What if...
So many of these ran through my head, a panic attack was imminent (the one thing I was trying to avoid in this whole process).
I eventually can to terms that I just can't let anyone know; at least not until I'm finished my first draft.
So know let's relate this to you. Ask these questions and be honest.
-Do you think that people will tell you you can't do it?
-Do you think people will judge you?
-Are you writing for yourself? And if yes, do you think telling other people will change that? (if no you should seriously pull back and reassess your motivations)
-Do you want someone elses ideas, maybe to help you see a different perspective?
-Do you think that having someone cheer you on will be beneficial to you?
-Do you know someone that is in your target audience, and/or likes your genre?
-Would you be comfortable telling someone?
Those questions should lead you into the right direction.
Now, I'm not saying that support is bad. It isn't at all! I'm sure that having someone there to cheer you on is wonderful , especially when things get tough and you need some encouragement.
All I am saying is that it isn't right for me, and that you need to think about everything pertaining to telling someone about your writing. Don't be flippant about who you give it out too, your work is valuable, and you need to be able to trust it with someone that you can trust, if that is the way you want to go. The way I chose was to keep it to myself until the first draft is done. You will probably chose something different because you are a completely different person. But please, be careful about who you give it too, and remember; what you are doing is astounding, it really is, and some people will no doubt be jealous of what you are accomplishing.

Okay, what about the online resources out there, like forums, chat rooms etc.? My advice; again, be careful, but there are many writing resources online. I won't list any here, because I don't want to premote sites that might not be reliable, and have your work be stolen, or posted on the Internet for everyone to see (I do have some that I have looked into, and can help if you ask directly and understand I'm not responsible if you post things on the sites).
There is one thing I can help you with, though, and in this way you have more freedom in what you choose. On Google click the "more" button, go to the "Directory", click "Arts", than go to "Writer's Resources". On the page there should be many links in which you can define your search. They have thing like agents, poetry, organizations, non-fiction, song-writing, young writers, publishers, publishing, writing exercises, chat rooms and forums, along with many others. They have gone through and picked out some of the better sites, and have given them to you.
I hope that that helps you.
Remember, I'm here too and am not going to ask you about the specifics of your writing, so feel free to ask me about whatever. As I am finishing my first draft {*throws confetti*}, I'll keep you updated on my support status and what I've learned along the way (hopefully it will help you too).
Happy Writing!

JB

I'm sure everyone is shocked right now, but it's true: this post isn't about writing! I figured that I should leave it for a while, and move on to other things (if only for a few days). AND I'll try to keep this post shorter that the others (key word "try" haha).

Okay, normally, when it come to music, I tend to obsess with one band/singer and play their songs constantly. And by that I mean over and over until I can not stand the band/singer or their songs. Occasionally I won't get sick of them and will love them forever : ).
Examples include: Tchaikovsky (1812 Overture is amazing), Evanescence, Michael Buble, Relient K and the list goes on.

But I've found a new obsession and it's name is Paramore. The lead singer, Hayley, is one of the best I've ever heard. It isn't as though the recording studio has made her voice sound good, her voice actually is good on it's own. Complete raw talent. They have a new CD out (their second, not including the EP) called Riot!, and I find it well worth my time listening to. It's considered Rock/Emo (and if anyone thought of them dressing in black and cutting themselves, you should be ashamed, because that is not what emo means! At all!), but even if you don't necessarily like that type of music, I would listen to it first and then decide.
They have a single called Misery Business, which I love, but if you want to hear how great her voice is on it's own, listen to Misery Business (Acoustic). Some of my other favourites include Fences, For a pessimistic I'm pretty optimistic and Hallelujah.
So for the next few months, if not forever, this is what I'll be listening too. I hope you like it, but I want to know, so leave me comments!

JB

Misery Business Acoustic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiR838VOCrA
Misery Business: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYJEORHbIKE
Hallelujah: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sApyi41SoVM&feature=related
Fences: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeCxGXdtnxk&feature=related
Let the Flames Begin: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPZrKRxQxYM&feature=related

Official Paramore Site:http://www.paramore.net/
Good Paramore Site:http://www.paramore.org/
If you want to listen to a little of all of them: http://store.fueledbyramen.com/albumview.asp?idproduct=30567